Here we go

I don't know where to begin so I guess that I will just start to type.

Today was my first day following Bob Harper's plan. I am on 1200 calories. It took a lot of planning and food prep yesterday but it paid off. I ate well today and drank about 100 oz of water. I am not hungry and it is 6:30 at night. I am 5'9'' and 261 pounds. I need  to get this weight under control and get healthy.

I had 2 occasions today when I got stressed out and immediately had intense cravings for junk food. My life would have been better thus far if I had only been born one of those people who won't eat when they are upset, as opposed to someone who eats constantly for every emotion.

"E" threw a screaming fit at day care. I was so embarrassed. She is out of control. I don't want to spank her but I feel like I may not have a choice at this point. She doesn't listen. She screams and bites and kicks, even bites herself when she doesn't get her own way. I have to tell her to do something a dozen times. She just ignores me. I may need to look into therapy already. One of my biggest fears is that she ends up like her mother. I have to put a stop to that right now before this behavior has a chance to advance. I even enlisted my mother's help...that is how overwhelmed I have become.

I hate my job. The director who, 3 weeks ago, told me that she wanted me to meet her doctors...still hasn't called. I didn't even get an intervieew downstairs with the woman who I worked for for 6 months. My management team obviously doesn't care if they lose me. I am just a tool to them. That is why I am doing less and less work and letting the guys, who get paid like $10 an hour more than I do for doing the same job, handle it. I just need something more fulfilling that still pays well.

I am exhausted. It was a typical, tiring Monday but when "E" threw her fit, it just took all of the positive energy out of me. I want to eat something sweet. Mostly, I just want to go to sleep. I don't want to deal with it any more today. I am done typing. I am going to see if she will fall asleep early.